“Insulting with style” (Lessons by Captain Archibald Haddock)

Hello folks!

I love this post I made from waaaay back in 2012 and so I’m re-publishing it just for fun!

Something funny and educational for you all – I was bobbing around the trash-littered information superhighway of wonder that we call the internet (or interwebs, whichever you prefer) and came across this site dedicated to a great many things “Tintin“.

Now I’m a great fan of the adventuring reporter and his many tales – but the soft spot, my favourite from amongst the rich and entertaining supporting cast of series’ creator Herge, the one I actually like better than Tintin himself, has always been Captain Haddock, a.k.a., Captain Harrock-and-roll! (as he cheekily retitles himself in The Red Sea Sharks).

So you can imagine how pleased I was at coming across a section on the same site that was actually a collection of his marvelously ludicrous, oh-so-awesome swears and insults from across the entire series.

And so… to help you share my journey in learning some of the same and expanding my vocabulary of verbalisations for lifes’ varied vexations, I leave you with the list itself that you might expand your own horizon and lexicon should you so desire – or if not, then perhaps just have a good old-fashioned chuckle at the sheer creativity of this stuff! Enjoy!

(Total count: 208)

A

Aardvark! Abecedarians! Aborigine! Addle-pated lumps of anthracite! (old) Alcoholic ! Anachronisms! Anacoluthons! Antediluvian bulldozer! Anthracite! Anthropithecus! Anthropophagus! Arabian Nightmare! Artichokes! Autocrats! Aztecs!

B

Baboons! Baby-snatchers! Bagpipers! Bald-headed budgerigar! Bandits! Bashi-bazouks! Bath-tub Admiral! Beast! Belemnite! Big-head! Billions of blue blistering boiled and barbecued barnacles ! Billions of billious barbecued blue blistering barnacles! Billions of Bilious Blue BlisteringBarnacles! Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles in a thundering typhoon! Billions of Blue Blistering Barnacles! Black beetles! Black Marketers! Blackamoor! Blackbird! Blackguards! Blistering Barnacles! Blistereing blundering bird-brain! Bloodsuckers! Blue blistering barnacles! Blue Blistering Bell-Bottomed Balderdash! Blunderbuss! Bodysnatcher! Bootlegger! Borgia! Bougainvillea! Brat! Breathalyser! Brigands! Brutes! Bucaneers! Bully! Butcher!

C

Cachinnating cockatoo! Cannibals! Carpetsellers! Caterpillars! Centipede! Cercopithecus! Coconut! Coelcanth! Colocynths! Corsair! Cowards! Crabapples! Cro-Magnon! Crooks! Cushion footed quadrupeds! Cyclotron!

D

Diplodocus! Dogs! Doryphore! Doryphores! Duck-billed platypus! Dunderheaded coconuts! Dynamiter!

E

Ectoplasms! Egoists!

F

Fancy-dress Facist! Fancy-dress Fatima! Fancy-dress freebooter! Fatfaces! Filibuster(s)! Fourlegged Cyrano! Freshwater pirate! Freshwater swabs! Fuzzy wuzzy!

G

Gallows-fodder! Gangof Theives! Gangsters! Gibbering anthropoids! Great flat-footed grizzly bear! Gobbledgook! Gogglers! Goosecaps! Guano-gatherers ! Gyroscope!

H

Harlequin! Heretic! Highwayman! Hydrocarbon!

I

Iconoclasts! Idiots! … you, Imitation Incas, you [Prisoners p47 B2]! You, interplantary goat, you!

J

Jellied eel! Jellyfish! Jobbernowl!

K

Kleptomaniacs! Koua Kouakouin Kouinkouin Koua Kouin Koua!

L

Lily-livered landlubbers! Liquorice! Loathsome brute! Logarithim! Lubberscum!

M

Macrocephalic baboon! Megacycle! Megacycle Pyromaniac! Mameluke! Miserable blundering barbecued blister! Miserable earth worms! Miserable miser! Miserable molecule of mildew! Misguided missles! MisterMule! Monopolizers! Monster! Morons! Moujiks! Mountebanks! Musical morons!

N

Nanny Goat! Nitwits! Nitwitted ninepins! Nyctalops!

O

Odd-toed ungulate! Ophicleides! Orangoutang! Ostrogoth!

P

Pachyrhizus! Parasites! Patagonians! Pestilential Pachyderm! Phylloxera! Pickled herrings! Pirates! Pithecanthropic montebanks! Pithecanthropic pickpocket! Pithecanthropus! Pockmarks! Politican! Poltroons! Polygraphs! Polynesian! Profiteers! Psychopath! Purple profiteering jellyfish! Pyrographers! Pyromaniac!

R

Raggle taggle ruminants! Rapscallion! Rats! Revenge! Rhizopods! RKRPXZKRMTFRZ! Road roller! Roadhogs!

S

Saucy tramp! Savages! Scorpion! Sea-gherkin(s)! Sea-lice! Sea lion! Shipwreckers! Slavertrader! Slubberdegullions! Sparrows! Spitfire! Steamroller! Stoolpigeon! Subtropical sea-louse! Swine!

(Note: Squawking popinjay – in “The Secret of the Unicorn”, Captain Francis Haddock says it to Red Rackham–but since Captain Archibald Haddock is narrating this to Tintin, some may say that it is one of his many curse words. Also, a parrot says it in Red Rackham’s Treasure on page 29.)

T

Technocrat! Ten thousand thundering typhoons! Terrapins! Terrorists! Thundering typhoons! Tin hatted tyrants! Toads! Toffee-noses! Traitors! Tramps! Tribe of Polynesians! Troglodytes! Turncoats! Twister! Two-timing Troglodytes!

U

Ungulate (see O for odd-toed ungulate)

V

Vandal! Vegetarian! Vermicellis! Viper! Visigoths! Vulture!

W

Weevils! Whippersnapper! Wildcat! Woodlice!

Y

Young monkey!

Z

Zapotecs!

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Well, I hope that made you laugh and reminisce and added to your lexicon as it most certainly has mine. Cheers!